My Big Fat Social Life

Want to know why you're waddling around with that big, cushy life preserver around your waist?  It's your friend's fault.  Yep.  And you can tell 'em I said so.

When we were 8 years old, we invited our friends over for playdates.  We maybe grabbed a snack in between trampoline jumping, playground sliding, tag, kickball and dress-up.

At 12 we were playing sports.  Cheerleading, softball, kickball, swimming, you name it.  Our lives revolved around our friends and what THING we could be doing outside and how we could test the limits of tweendom.

Making it home for dinner in highschool..... Huh?  Are you kidding?  We were ALWAYS thinking of reasons to NOT be home, and who really gave a s#!t about food?  We were 100% occupied with boys and trouble... and THAT is no joke.

Now welcome to college where we drink our calories!  We party all night Saturday night, sleep all day on Sunday, stumble into class on Monday, to come back home and get ready to head to the bar for $1 draft night.  Our social lives were all about yeager bombs, keg stands, spring break diets and creating unique ways to involve alcohol into ridiculous activities.  (Does anyone else have memories of wasted volleyball tournaments?  Humongous slip & slides in someones backyard??)

Now that we're ADULTS our social lives somewhat still involve alcohol but mostly involve food.  GOOD NEWS - it seems to get MORE ABOUT FOOD the older we get!  (bring on the thunder thighs)

When I get together with my girlfriends after work, we grab dinner.  When I catch up with a friend I haven't seen in a while, we grab lunch.  For our birthdays, we have dinner parties, for celebrations we make reservations at a cool new restaurant - OUR SOCIAL LIVES ARE ALL ABOUT FOOD!

When Bravo's Real Housewives get together, their activities completely revolve around FOOD!  And what else do they do? WORK OUT!  THE REASON we have to choose salads over french fries is to balance the fact that EVERY SOCIAL THING WE DO IS ABOUT FOOD!

I think this is all bogus.  I'm not sure how exactly to fix the problem without acting like a 12 year old (in which case you might think I'm a skitzo) But at least I've figured out why as an adult we're all a bunch of fat asses - and like I said, it's your lard friend's fault.