Sad, Mad, OVER IT

What you’re about to read is very important information.  It is THE advice I give out to ALL recently broken up individuals.  It is a proven method guaranteed to get you over your ex and onto the next phase of your life.  100% guaranteed.

Step 1 - Sad:

When you break up, you’re sad.  It’s depressing.  There is chaos in your head.  Every song makes you think of them and every TV show makes you cry.  So cry.  Be sad.  EMBRACE THE SAD PHASE.  Cry all day, lock yourself in your room, listen to sappy songs, watch The Notebook before bed every night and BE REALLY SAD.  The key is NOT to put off this phase.  BE SAD AND GET THE SAD OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM!  

Step 2 - Mad:

Same as step 1 – EMBRACE THE MAD.  After you pull yourself up off the floor and remove the snotty stuffed animals from under your face you’re going to be PISSED.  One, at how much time you’ve spent crying lately and two, at every single ridiculous thing the bastard did while you dated.  Every thought that comes into your head will literally make your blood boil.  So be mad.  Break things.  Yell at people.  Punch babies.  Listen to Alanis Morissette on repeat.  Talk junk about your ex to everyone you know every single day until the MAD is out of your system!

Step 3 – Over it:

At the beginning of your break up you’ll think this day will never come.  But one day, after you’ve been REALLY sad and REALLY effing mad, you’re going to wake up happy and OVER IT.  It WON’T BE until this step when you’re REALLY ready to move on.   It may take you a couple of days to get here.  It may take you a couple of weeks.  It MAY even take you a couple of months.  But if you REALLY embrace step 1 and step 2, it won’t take you a couple of years.  Let yourself GET OVER IT so you can move on to the next phase of life with someone WHO DESERVES YOU and makes you HAPPY!

Don’t worry, these steps will be defined clearly in my book one day if more information is needed =)