Get my SWAG BACK!

Welcome to Singleville, USA! 

In the past week, I’ve noticed that the news has spread about my new found freedom.  I’ve been asked out quite a few times.  Some guys are better at asking than others, but in all honesty, they’ve all been handed a BIG FAT NO!

One of the guys who has persistently been asking me out is a 21 year old kid that I used to babysit.  How precious.  He’s (sorta) all grown up and thinks his mere 4 year age difference isn’t that big of a deal.  Awww.

Another, is a guy I went to college with.  Very straight to the point about asking – but, uh, if I was interested, I probably would have dated you in college!

The next guy is a musician who plays where I work.  He’s old – he has an afro – and is in NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM my type AT ALL! 

Is it BAD that instead of being flattered by these attempts, I’m offended?! 

None of these guys, or any others who have been asking, should feel like they can play in the same sandbox as me.  Yes – I know that sounds cocky and egotistical but if you saw these guys, you’d understand.  How do they have so much courage?!  I, of course, have been giving them very gracious NO’S, but STILL…let’s be real here! 

This makes me wonder.

Has my swag disappeared?!  Is it still hidden somewhere?  Have I been walking around the past few years with an unavailable STANK?!  Are only the creepy, crawly, weirdo guys the ones who are brave enough to ask out someone with this little swag?!

Plan to fix this – going out with my roomies this weekend on project GET MY SWAG BACK!  We’ll see how this goes…