Office Crush

So I just want to take a moment to vent because there are no attractive guys to stare at and flirt with at my new job.  “Why does that matter?” some of you may ask…..because it’s a big fucking deal THAT’s WHY! I like to equate it to high school; there was always one super-hot guy that you had a crush on in high school.  He was the reason you got up every day and dressed cute, put your face on in the morning, and fantasied about in homeroom.  Well, guess the fuck what….life doesn’t change much after high school.  Instead of classrooms we now have offices.  The quintessential office crush is what I live for, I’ve had one at just about every job I have slutted myself around at.  This new job………not so much……….you couldn’t pay me to sleep with any of these men.  They are all super nice / respectful / polite….but a good majority of them have gold teeth……literally!  The ONLY thing that saves me from looking like total ass every day is that I take public transportation, so there is always that hope of the cute stranger.   Having an office crush makes work fun; not having one makes work boring.  Is it too much to ask for some of these men to take out the gold teeth, take off the wedding ring, loose a little weight and make me happy??