Survival of the Fittest

As a newly single lady in my upper  twenties, it is becoming more and more apparent that I cannot date just any old Tom or Jerry on the street. 

Back in the day, if I thought my local bartender was a hottie, I may let him take me out.  Or, if I thought the guy valeting my car was worth a drink, I’d let him buy me one.  Now, it’s a whole new ball game.

Upper twenties is the get serious age.  I now can only date guys who have established themselves.  They must work a good job, have good friends and live outside of a frat house. 

I’m allowed to have such criteria because I am established, have a good job, good friends and no longer live with 30 other girls in my sorority house. 

The problem, is it takes so much more work to find the kind of guys who make the cut.  It wipes away a whole selection of available men.  The good news, is I get to spend less time dating losers.

Oh being old is so much more complicated!!

Golden Globes

There is much to say about the 2012 Golden Globes.  All I really want to talk about right now, however, is the fella's that made me want to BANG them after seeing them on the Golden Globes. 

1.) Johnny Depp - And no, I do not find him physically attractive, but something about him makes me want to bang him just to see how it would go.  I feel like it could be an experience I likely would not forget. 

2.) Adam Levine - a given

 

3.) Channing Tatum (and his wife)

You're welcome for the daily eye candy!

The Crush Haze

I know we are supposed to be bitching and hollering about something….BUT girls I have just been rainbows and sunshine lately!  I am in the crush haze…..The crush haze is when you like a guy and

1.) When your not around him you completely forget what he looks like? Just remember how he makes you feel

2.) You can never eat anything.  I have constant butterflies and if I eat anything I want to throw it up.

3.) You stress out when he doesn’t respond to your text right.  

4.) Your friends tell you that you talk about him too much.

I need an athlete.

Click here for SI's top 25 hottest male athletes

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/gallery/featured/GAL1192360/1/25/index.htm

Let’s not get it twisted.  I am a red-blooded all-American girl and I like love boys.  Love them.  Today I can’t get boys off the brain.  I just passed through a flock of athletes… in sweats… (how I like them best) and now I can’t concentrate on much of anything.  I need an athlete.  I need to be less boy crazy.  I need a cold shower.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Y'all

In true Straight Up Sundays/Thanksgiving spirit, I want to list the top 10 things I am most thankful for this holiday season:

1.)    The fact that white wine doesn’t stain your teeth (can’t see cavities in pictures).

2.)    Small things that vibrate.  Being single isn’t that bad after all. 0=)

 

3.)    Miranda Lambert will be in Charlotte in January.  Praise the Country Lords.  

4.)    Jack Daniels Honey.  Soothes my soul every Sunday.

5.)    That my panthers are THE BOMB.COM this year (relatively speaking).  Cam Newton, would you like to come to my house for Thanksgiving?  Maybe Steve Smith can be your date?

6.)    Stretchy pants.  You will not see me in jeans on Thanksgiving day…. If so, they’ll likely be unzipped.

7.)    When my roommates clean.  Nothing makes me smile more than when I come home dreading to have to clean the kitchen and someone already did it for me.  LOVE! <3

8.)    Hot sauce.  Because that $#*^ t tastes good on everything.  Sorry, Chef.

9.)    Top Chef Texas’ new contestant, Chris Crary.  Yummy!

10.) These bitches on the blog with me… even though they NEVER BLOG ANYMORE!  (YEP that’s me calling y’all out).

Happy Thanksgiving, Sunday Lovers! 

Next Time He Cheats

I always knew I liked Miranda....

NEXT

This is definitely a chapter in my book.  It will detail the importance of a good ‘ol NEXT!

Let me explain.

“NEXTING” someone means to remove them from your dating picture.  You make one, clean cut and move on to the next person in line to date you.

This sounds harsh.

Until you can learn to NEXT someone, you’re going to be stuck on the same boring merry-go-round with the same dumb loser because you won’t open yourself up to the NEXT person waiting to come into your life.  

Wasting your time with the guy in spot A, means guy B, C, D and E are patiently waiting their turn.  Guy E may be the guy for you, but you will never get to him if you mess around with A-D even after you know THEY’RE NOT THE ONE!

Save yourself some trouble, NEXT this loser (and REALLY be done with them) and move on to something better.  You’re smart.  That feeling in your gut telling you he’s not it is TRUTH.  Listen to it.  NEXT HIM and MOVE ON. 

Date the Parents

I just got back to my desk after lunch with one of my newlywed coworkers.  The entire 30 minutes was spent ranting and raving about how much she hates her in-laws.  

Which brings me to this.

How important is your signif’s parents?  At what point in the relationship do their shenanigans become a deal breaker?

In hindsight, I blame my ex’s parentals on some of our downfall.  His male role models set the stage for the dbag he grew up to be.  The way his own father spoke to his mother very much mimicked the way he liked to talk to me (hence why he got the ax).   

hows THAT for good parenting?

 For almost 20 years, my ex's mom and dad did not speak to each other or show up to the same parties.  They liked to talk sh*t about each other and act like legit 4 year olds.  At his college graduation, his mom sat on one side of the arena, his dad on the other.  After, we took pictures with his mom on one side of campus and with his dad on the other.  If we had gotten married, I can’t IMAGINE what would have happened if they had to sit next to each other and be in the same room for a couple of hours.  

Moving forward, I’ve decided I’m dating the guys parents too.  If from the gate I don’t like them, their relationship, or their parenting tactics, they’re OUT.  I understand we all have our "crazy parents" stories.  Lord knows if I was judged based on my parents that NO ONE in their right mind would date me.  But some people grow up and learn from their parents mistakes, and others don't.  My eyes will be wide open for those red flags, because I’m def not dealing with the mama drama down the road.

GRAND FINALE!! Elle's Top 5 = #5

Trying to figure out who makes the cut to my ultimate top 5 is DIFFICULT!  Lucky for you, I can’t make up my mind.  Here are the finalists!

Gerard Butler:

Ryan Gosling:

Justin Chambers / Alex Karev :

Jesse Williams / Dr. Avery:

Mark Wahlberg:

 Aren’t you glad I’m indecisive =) 

Elle's Top 5 CTD = #4

I've noticed most of my faves have lighter eyes and are normally shirtless - but there is something about these deep, dark browns and well tailored suits that makes me want to drop my trousers.  I present to you George Clooney. 

Make me melt, Mr. Clooney!  The grand finale coming soon... IF I can ever decide on the last to make the cut!!