dbag alert

Well this is what it feels like on a Monday after drinking all day on Sunday with no food in your tummy.  Geez… I haven’t had this feeling since some unfortunate 8am Friday Morning course in college after a disastrous Thirsty Thursday at the local watering hole… YUCK!

Since I can’t manage to get any of my real work done today, and so many of my girlfriends are finding themselves “pairing up”,  I’ve decided to make a list of my top 5 red flags most seen in a douche bag in waiting. 

What is a douche bag in waiting, you ask?  Exactly what the ef it sounds like – a T-TOTAL bag of delicious DOUCHIENESS ready to emerge itself from seemingly sweet and nice exterior.  So – ladies – if your new LUVA has one of these things going on, consider it a red flag… or don’t… and a few months from now you can come crying to me about how big of an ass he is and I’ll just blog about it at your expense.

1.       He gives you a verbal resume of himself within the first few weeks of knowing him.  Your job is REALLY that cool?  Your grades were REALLY that high?  Your house is REALLY that big?  Woowwwww (now run!)

2.       He complains, about anything/everything.   Too many people are around?  There’s no place to sit at this bar?  The waitress took too long to bring you your beer?  The guy at the carwash didn’t do a good enough job?  Your boss is really that much dumber than you? 

3.       He met you online, but won’t tell anyone you met on a dating site, because he is “too cool” to admit to his friends that he was seeking love from somewhere other than the local pub. 

4.       He begins 85% of sentences/stories with “I” or “My”

5.       He refers to himself in the third person… often while updating his facebook status… which he updates at least 4 to 7 times each day.