Frenemies.

I’ve been a bad blogger recently. And quite honestly it’s because I haven’t really thought of anything important, or better yet funny/shocking/insane to write about.

And after Elle basically made me feel like a terrorist for not stepping up the blogging plate so to speak I decided to take action.

Let’s talk about frenemies shall we.



 We all have em.. especially if you’re a female. You had em in your first grade class, and you have em in your office, neighborhood, YMCA.

You what I’m talking about! The type of girls people who fall under the following categories:

• You like them one day, and want to shove them off a cliff the next day.
• They constantly one up you, which causes you to mention the hot guy at the next table checking you out.. a.k.a they bring out the worst in you.
• They are beneficial in your life i.e.. your boss, pastors wife, mother-in-law, but you seriously think they are the spawn of Satan.
• The use your friendship as a way to get cooler, richer, promoted, free stuff, etc…
• They are NEVER happy for you, but call you their BFFFFL whenever they want you to celebrate their successes.
• They do all the above and you ask yourself every day why that skank ass bitch is still in your life.

If you are a female between the ages of 0-100 then you have known, currently know, or will eventually know someone like this.

It’s a mystery why they stay in our lives. Often time we try to push them out HARD and they come crawling back, usually during… tragedy, celebration, or drunkenness.

We are the good people the people that can’t be mean. ESPECIALLY when you’ve know her forever or she did something REALLY nice for your birthday. There is always a reason why, us good people, feel guilty kicking these bitches to the curb.

I personally have been at my whit’s end MULTIPLE times with MULTIPLE people on MULTIPLE occasions. And said to myself “Enough!!” and then that dramatic phone call the next week about how they lost their job, how their husband keeps fighting with them, how they’ve gained 40 pounds. And I am sucked right back in. Over and over and over again.

Catfight!

Well I am not going to make a profound statement that I have cleansed my life of these women. Or that I even intend to. No, I won’t be that fake. But I will say I want too.. Does that count for making positive steps? Or at least that I have acknowledged their negative impact in my own sanity.

Hopefully one day I can kick these hoe bags to the curb and surround myself with normal, peaceful  slightly less bat-shit crazy women.

But for now I will answer that phone call/dinner date/party invitation and simply pour a glass of straight vodka wine and let things get a little hazy.

For reference this read on CNN.com about the Frenemeny phenomenon among women…..